Steven Wright on dogs

　　The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge.Some people are afraid of heights.Not me, I‘m afraid of widths.

　　I had a dog once.I spilled spot remover on him, and now he‘s gone.

　　I put contact lenses in my dog‘s eyes.They had little pictures of cats on them.Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

　　I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay.It‘s fun to call him..."Come here, Stay!Come here, Stay!"He went insane.Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.He‘s an East German Shepherd.